Back Asswards

It occurred to me recently, yesterday actually, that I have a strange habit of doing things backward.

I realized that my ever-growing son had once again grown out of EVERYTHING and needed some new clothes. So in haste, I went on line to Old Navy and threw a ton of summer stuff — tees, cargo shorts, bathing suits and a few polos (and a thingy or two for myself, daughter and husband) — into my virtual shopping bag.

*I normally don’t shop online as I have said a few times before, but in the craziness of the end of the year, well it just seemed easier.

So I fooled around with adding and deleting for a little bit and hit the “purchase” button.

It was only after I’d bought all the new stuff that I took to my son’s room to actually inventory the outgrown clothing that still had residence in his over stuffed dresser drawers. In 10 minutes I had a huge pile of clothes that should have been tossed last summer. For crying out loud.

Like I said, a little back asswards if you ask me.

If I step back and look at my habits, which I did this morning, I find I do this same turned around thing in other areas of my life.

Say grocery shopping for instance. I make a list of what I think I need, do a big shop, carry the reusable bags from my driveway across my lawn to my house, place them on the counter and then realize that I have no room to put them away.

Yes, this is not me.

The reason — because I have not cleaned out the thousands of red and blue Tupperware containers with old food begging to be liberated from the bowels of my refrigerator.

So I take on this massive chore whilst my new food sits on my counter. And it spirals out of control into more chores including filling the garbage can,taking it out to the garage, hand washing every single tomato sauce-stained container, leaving it on the counter to dry and finally getting that brand new now room temperature food put away.

Phew. You’d think one time doing this ridiculous ritual would have this mom trying to get better organized. Yeah. You’d think.

When it comes to household chores, sadly I tend to be the same away.

After lugging my vacuum up the stairs, I turn it on and start cleaning before I have picked up all the crap that sits on the rug. Socks, legos, stuffed animals, countless items my daughter has moved from room to room that are now on her floor. So I stop, turn off the vacuum, clean up what it is in my path, and then resume where I left off only to face the same obstacle in my son’s room as well as our’s. If I am lucky, I won’t suck up a random sock like I did last time and spend MORE time trying to maneuver the thing out of the vacuum.

Gardening. (or lack there of really.) I go to the garden center and buy a boat load of annuals to adorn my patio.(It’s a brick patio wall that is partially hollow so I plant something new each spring.) So again, me lugging the flats from the car to the patio all ready to start planting only to realize that I have not cleaned out the debris, leaves and dead plants and subsequent pine tree garbage that has fallen during recent windy days that still resides in the dirt from last year’s planting exercise.

So instead of me happily planting, it’s me unhappily doing prep work while my poor flowers are waiting for their new home around my patio. It’s then hours before I get planting and then, more than likely, I won’t get it all done in one day because of all the time wasted cleaning up what should have been done weeks ago.


There must be some name for this kind of thing. Backasswardsitis? Domestic Disorganization Syndrome?

I think the only cure for it is this: Have someone else do it.

I am all over that.

But until that pipe dream comes true, like say when pigs fly or hell freezes over, I guess I’ll just have to persevere through it and keep on doing what I do best — back asswards.


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